Is the MonSter Back?
Man walking along beach
In Mark 2:12 the Bible says, "And he rose and immediately picked up his bed and went out before them all, so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, 'We never saw anything like this!'" (ESV)
We are so amazed at what this man's friends had done and the miracle that Jesus performed that we stop right after Jesus tells the man to pick up his bed and go home. But in the very next verse, it says the man picked up his bed and went out before them all. Not only was the man amazed, but the crowd was also. Yet nowhere in the text do you read that the man paused. It never says he was unsure. We never read that the man had a fear within him that what had happened to him was only temporary. Even in Luke chapter 5 we see a few more details, but nothing says the man had any doubt or fear. Just that he was amazed, he walked home, and glorified God.
In my May entry for the My Journey blog, I posted about some health concerns. I am partly ashamed to say that I have been deeply concerned, but also trying to fight off those thoughts by reminding myself that it is not my story, it is God's story. I didn't realize the weight of my concerns for my health. I may not ever understand why I am experiencing these things on this side of Heaven.
You might say there is no shame in how you feel, but I would argue that I feel like there are two sides always fighting. The one side says, "God's got this!" while the other side says, "Let's be realistic here. The world is broken. Your body is damaged. Even if you make it 5 years without disease activity, it could reactivate at any time."
What kind of message is that from someone who is so determined?!
A simple answer would be, I am human.
On June 16th, 2026, I was able to have another MRI through the Cleveland Clinic. I did not have to travel to Cleveland. I was able to go to a satellite office in Dayton, OH. Even though I am used to having MRIs, sometimes they seem like they are never going to end. The fun part about having MRIs at this location is that I never get the results on the same day (sarcasm). I had to get out of the house to keep my mind from thinking about the test results and to stop checking MyChart every 30 minutes. I didn't feed my stress with unnecessary purchases or a shopping spree. I made money by taking some e-scrap to be recycled and getting paid for the scrap. I made a whole $8, and I kept myself occupied for a few hours. LOL.
Then, around 3 p.m., the notification popped up: "You have new test results." I paused for a moment and proceeded to log into MyChart. My mind was racing. I was going through all of the scenarios, the what-ifs, the message that I would tell my subscribers and the people who follow my journey. For that brief moment, I don't think I have ever run through so many thoughts at such super speeds. Then the moment came to click on the test result. My thumb felt like a repelling magnet. Then it dropped, touching the screen to open the document. Scanning quickly through the document, I found the section titled "Findings." There it was: New T2 Lesions: NONE. New Enhancing Lesions: NONE. Volume Loss: NONE. Optic Nerve: No signs of Optic Neuritis.
My heart pounding, a wave of relief washed over me. I had spent weeks wondering if one vaccine had cost me everything HSCT gave me. It hadn't. God held it all together. Sitting at my dining room table, I repented of my doubting thoughts. Help me to be better at this, Lord. My tears of doubt and fear were transformed into tears of joy. I'm walking away in amazement, glorifying God for His faithfulness.
I am still processing what has happened. My prayer is that I will move forward from this latest scare with a new mindset. To say the words, "I believe in the power of prayer," is an understatement. I have mentioned before on this website how I have witnessed prayer do the impossible. I think I need to understand that those same miracle moments of prayer that have happened to other people in my life are for me too.
To my friends who continue to take me through the roof, I truly appreciate every prayer and all that you are doing on this journey. Maybe that is also holding me together. The paralyzed man was only told to get up, take his bed, and walk. His friends were seen by Jesus for their faith. That is when Jesus told the man to get up and walk. So, to my many friends and supporters, thank you for the prayers. Jesus sees you and so do I!
Rooftop Prayer Warrior
