What Are You Giving Up?
I recall…
When I was diagnosed in 2016 with Multiple Sclerosis, it was devastating. It made me start thinking about a lot of things. Most thoughts were about the future and whether I would end up permanently disabled. Each test brought a small amount of hope that the results would come back with a different diagnosis. As more and more test where ran, each one that confirmed the diagnosis was another punch in the gut. Once all the testing was completed, reality set in. Thoughts were racing and I found myself doing what I had to do to make it through the day. I also found myself repeatedly crying out to God in hopes that He would show mercy and change the course of my disease or take it away completely.
Was I asking too much? Was I requesting something that was unrealistic? I didn't think so. I was confident that God wanted something better for me even though I didn't know how that was going to transpire. I had moments where I felt like it took every ounce of energy just to get out of bed to make it through the day. Some days I just wanted to throw in the towel because the effort was more than I could handle.
As I continued to petition God, over time I had realized that my prayers of healing made me see that I needed to give up, give it all to God and trust His plan. I knew that He did not like this diagnosis any more than I did. I eventually found myself giving up. I gave up on the idea that I could do
anything about this disease. Because no matter what I could do or what medication I could take, it would be ashes without God. Through this I had also come to understand that if I was not healed and if things got worse, God would be with me through it all. I had to trust God with everything, not just some things or parts of my journey. I had to give it all to Him.
As I surrendered, God has been showing up every day. Even though I have had some rough times in the last year, I have also had clear direction, peace, miraculous recovery, and opened opportunities. This week I was reading my daily devotional and this verse was in it.
Matthew 16:24-25, "Then Jesus told his disciples,“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.""
Friends, this life has an end date. Even though I don't know what healing looks like for me, I can be confident that God knows. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ and as I seek Him daily I have to carry the cross of this disease but, with God anything is possible. He can be trusted in every area of my life. Whatever I lose in this life does not compare to what Jesus Christ has for me. Some day, there will be no more health issues or struggles because it will all be made perfect. So, if having this impossible glorifies Jesus Christ then I will continue to carry this cross. It is the least I can do since He died for me.
I want to encourage you by saying that no matter what cross you are carrying, trust God to work through your impossible situation. I promise, that if you pay attention He will show up every day. This world is infected with sin. Unless we are willing to surrender to Jesus, we will always be empty and full of despair. Give Jesus your impossible situation today. Let's do life together and see how God shows up! Until next week, my friends.
